Sunday, July 24, 2011

Kriya and Puja

Back from the end of a course not having done my kriya feeling tired. Reached after a long walk and a last minute Rickshaw, not having told anyone the real reason I had to leave so quickly (don't bother guessing, well actually u can but i wont tell :) ) Finally after the delay of the entire a day did my Kriya and this post came up ready made.....

Often I have heard Guruji and many teachers say 'Puja' means that which is born out of completeness or fullness. Today while doing Kriya I remembered something. "Sit to do your Kriya with an attitude of Gratitude" but even when I was getting through First stage of Pranayam "Gh**** gratitude how do I deal with all the pain that has been building in my for the entire day" and now it has reached a peak after something that happened at the course. Suddenly I couldn't feel the pain in my legs (General effect of Vajrasan, especially since I was sitting on a chair) as it was replaced by a pain in my heart region for a moment I thought I had a heart attack but realized it wasn't almost the next moment.

I could feel all the sadness and pain accumulated over the years that I have managed to hide with quick smiles and acting stupid started coming up. Some of the things that I had REALLLLYYYYYYY wanted to hide even from myself started coming to the front. By this time I had lost all control, half way through Second stage of Pranayam I started breathing normal breaths instead of Ujjai breaths. Now I though this embarrassing, what I didn't realize was the Really embarrassing thing is yet to come. Almost in tears because of all the suppressed memories I was not even sure I would be able to continue any further, I was just moving forward.

Somehow I managed to get back into Ujjai before finishing Second stage itself. Hear is where something interesting started happening. Even though the pain was still there I remembered what I had heard on Guru Purnima this year. Suddenly there was no effort in Third Stage and Bhastrika and the pain intensified, with tears from my eyes and mucus from my nose and sweat forming a horrible mixture on my face which very thankfully I could not feel because of the pain. The actual Kriya was a different experience all together something had changed dramatically and after a short meditation I got up and was already ready with this post in my Mind.

Now the important part, the knowledge that came to my rescue in my time of need. Mahesh Giriji had said that "We offer flowers, fruits, 'chandan' etc while doing the Guru Puja but you should do something else. Offer your anger, offer your Jealousy, offer all the negative qualities and you'll see that Puja happens by itself and such a Puja will be higher then any other simple Guru Puja". Today I was able to apply this.

Coming back to the starting of the post
So for the first time on this blog I am going to give everyone a task to experiment on. Here's the deal if you can't sit with an Attitude of Gratitude, gather all your anger, hatred, jealousy,greed, fear, laziness and sit for doing your short Sudarshan Kriya. After you finish your 3 rounds of slow-medium-fast just offer it to......... whoever you want, it doesn't really matter. Do tell me your experience, waiting to hear from you all (comment hear or mail me)

Jai Gurudeva,
P.S. Please excuse the length of the post :)


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