Facts about Engineering

Engineers I want your honest opinion on these jokes sent by an engineer. Others can simply enjoy the fun

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.

Senior : guys who got ragged as juniors and wanna get some payback...

Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...

Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.

Really Really Dumb fresher : guy who follows the senior to the canteen.

Ragging : the unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.

Evasive action: watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)

Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything remotely female qualifies for that title.

KT : makes you suicidal..

Year Drop : makes dad homicidal.

Rereviewuation : Cruel joke... (results of rreview come after you give the KT exam).

Principal : Biggest Idiot on campus. Unfortunately, also the most powerful idiot on campus.

Lectures : waste of time..

Tutions : what you take when you don't waste enough time.

Professor : person paid to put students to sleep.

Vernac Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged
with his own brand of english ("Now you check me your journal." "You Out get from class." "Are you understand, Beta?" )

Practical : 60 to 90 minutes in which you discuss Pamela Anderson's assets, watch the girls do your experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.

Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in your group (simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment,and finally copy the readings. from the girls of course...).

Fear : what you feel when the prof who's signature you forged on the journal hesitates to turn the page...

Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.

Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted in the exam...

Sleep : Huh! What the heck's That?

Jai Gurudeva,

Love,

Mihir

Jokes

Now awaiting my Graduation results so nothing much to give here. A course with Anjana Di today in Thane(Yeaaaaa) and DSN with the ultimate duo Bawa N Dinesh, also in Thane (*Lack of words to express excitement*) . A few jokes i got from here and there

Girlfriend(to boyfriend): What can u do for me?

Boyfriend : anything!!!!

Girl : Can u leave ur family for me?

Boy : Yes

G : Bring me money, clothes, jewelry as much as i want?

B : Yes

G: Get me stars, the moon, the sun?

B: Yes

G: Delete ur Facebook account?

B: Now really !! You ask too much

After the death of his wife, man asks friend " Quick get me a laptop"

Friend asks "Why?"

"I want to set my status to Single"

A boy was walking on road in the rain a girl comes to him and says why don't U share my

umbrella?

Boy- No thanks sister I like it this way

Moral............ nothing the Girl was not good looking :)

Jai Gurudeva,

Love,

Mihir

Second post for the day

A few jokes from here and there and one from Bawa. Enjoy

Jai Gurudeva!

Mihir

A man got a new Ferrari for his birthday and went to test drive it on the highway. As he was driving he wondered how fast it could go, but before he could get very far he heard sirens. He sped up thinking he could outrun the cop, but then he came to his senses and pulled over.

The cop walked over and asked for the man's license and registration. Then the cop said, "Listen Mac, it's Friday, I'm tired, and I just want to go home, so if you can give me an excuse I haven't heard before, I'll let you go."

The man thought for a minute, then replied, "My wife ran off with a cop the other day, and I thought you were trying to give her back to me."

The cop nodded and said, "Have a nice day."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Whats the difference between a terrorist and parents? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is Insanity hereditary? Yes, Parents get it from their kids.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping? He loved it, but it scared the poop out of his dog.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?"

He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort. He snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting right and left.

The wife was curious, so she asked, "What are you doing, honey?"

He shouted "I'm looking for loopholes!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Reverend tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was.

When the boy had told him, the reverend thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven."

"I don't think I'll be there," the boy said. "You don't even know your way to the post office."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is God A Parsi ? because we call him Upparwala.

Some small one's

Exams are starting so no posts for a while. Till then enjoy these jokes

>Cool Phrases

>============

>Practice makes perfect.....

>But nobody's perfect......

>so why practice?

>-----------------------------------------------------------

>The wise never marry.

>and when they marry they become

>otherwise.

>------------------------------------------------------------

>If your father is a poor man,

>It is your fate but,

>If your father-in-law is a poor man,

>It's your stupidity.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>I was born intelligent

>Education ruined me.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>A bus station is where a bus stops.

>A train station is where train stops.

>On my desk, I have a work station....

>what more can I say..........

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>If it's true that we are here to help others, then,

>What exactly are the others here for?

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Since light travels faster than sound,

>people appear bright until you hear them speak.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Money is not everything.

>There's MasterCard & Visa.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>One should love animals.

>They are so tasty.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Love thy neighbour.

>But don't get caught.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Every man should marry.

>After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Success is a relative term.

>It brings so many relatives.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Love is photogenic

>It needs darkness to develop

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>Children in backseats cause accidents

>Accidents in backseats cause children

>------------------------------------------------------------

>"Your future depends on your dreams"

>So go to sleep

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>There should be a better way to start a day

>than waking up every morning

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>"Hard work never killed anybody"

>But why take the risk !

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>"Work fascinates me"

>I can look at it for hours !

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>God made relatives;

>Thank God we can choose our friends.

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>When two's company, three's the result !

>-------------------------------------------------------------

>The more you learn, the more you know,

>The more you know, the more you forget

>The more you forget, the less you know

>So.. why learn.

Jai Gurudeva!

Love,

Mihir

Some Jokes

Doctor: Do you suffer From wet dreams?

Patient: No I quite enjoy them

Wife asks Husband: What will you do if I die.

Husband: I will die toI won't be able to bear the happiness

A man goes to Ram temple and prays for his lost wife.

Lord Rama tells him: There is a Hanuman temple next to this one, tell him he found my wife too

Journal Entry for Love

Love A/c Dr

To cash A/c

To bank A/c

To gold A/c

To Other assets A/c

To Bankruptcy A/c

(Being love expenses incurred and lover becoming insolvent)

Alcohol is a solution-------------------------------- mostly of ethenol and water

What is the thing that world needs most today?

Bawa: Yoga, meditaion, A lot of Triphala especially with modern eating habits

Jai Gurudeva!

First Q&A

As said in the first post here's a nice Q&A with Bawa and Dinesh Da from Winter Break

Q1. What is the minimum Time between 2 advance courses?

Bawa: 3 minutes. we absolutely don't allow anyone to do an advance course for atleast 3 minutes after an advance course

Q2. I eat a lot of Tamasik food can I compensate it by eating Rajasik Food?

Bawa: You do this and do about 10 advance courses a year and you will be fine.

Q3. (Angrily)How do we be grateful to something when a bird shits on you?

Bawa: Be grateful elephants can't fly

Q4. How do we separate sound advice from being a football of others opinions?

Bawa: Well the advice you like is sound advice, the one you don't is being a football of others opinion.

Q5. How do we not see intention behind others mistake when some one is doing injustice to you?

Dinesh: You are not supposed to see the intention behind others 'mistake' if someone is bing unjust to you it is no mistake.

Q6. How do we know our meditation was done properly or not if we missed some instruction?

Dinesh: You don't worry about that, you just have to sit, sit and surrender, even if you don't follow some instructions its Ok, understand that it is doing its work, don't worry just give your 100%.

Q7. I don't know whether I am doing my Kriya correctly or not?

Dinesh: Well if you have been doing it properly till now, don't worry, if you are not sure at all then repeat a YES!+ course.

Q8. What are all these symbols (On the pillars of Vishalakshi Mantap)?

Dinesh: They are of various religions, which, you find them.

Q9. Why do experiences of doing the Kriya for the first time differ from person to person?

Dinesh: Every person has different food, habits, personality etc bcoz of this the problems they have and the toxins that are stored in the body are different from every one else. These toxins get released causing different experiences.

Q10. Could you elaborate more on the chakras?

Dinesh: Don't go to much in detail about them, whatever has been told till now is more than sufficient, the more you know about them the more confused you will be.

There is a nice post by Vikram Bhaiya on his blog about a certain article containing a comment by Guruji which has been manipulated and printed be sure to check his blog

Jai Gurudeva!